KEEPING UP APPEARANCES
[5-minute read]
THREE CRITICAL LESSONS ON OBEDIENCE
Believers can be beguiled to think that keeping up the appearance of belonging keeps them safe from being known and from putting in real effort to grow in true Christlikeness. Whenever group conformity is prized over individual agency, and churches reward attending gatherings, and participating in events over any real individual growth, it is easy to confuse loyalty to the establishment with personal faithfulness to God. We start acting to be liked and accepted than we care about helping each other to be more Christlike.
When someone professes to be a Christian, speaks like a Bible scholar, prays with fervency, never skips any church service or group meeting, it is hard to argue about the true authenticity of their commitment to God. Because we can all put up appearances for different reasons. Just like Judas who was counted among the twelve disciples of Jesus, yet he ultimately betrayed the Lord.
How could a disciple of Jesus who appeared like a true follower for 3 solid years turn against Jesus and take the Lord away from among them.
Reason #1 ASSOCIATION WITHOUT RELATIONSHIP
Judas had personal access and proximity to Jesus, walked with Him, ate with Him, witnessed His miracles, yet never developed any real intimacy with the Lord. As one of the twelve disciples, Judas spent more time than most people with One who loved perfectly, who had no favoritism, who had divine wisdom, who cared deeply for humanity, who hated hypocrisy, yet, to him, it was a friendship that was disposable.
Nothing in Scripture tells us that Jesus treated Judas differently from the others. In fact, he was entrusted to handle the group’s finances as their treasurer. When Jesus revealed that He would be betrayed by one of the disciples, “They were very sad and began to say to Him one after the other, ‘Surely you don’t mean me, Lord?’” (Matthew 26:22).
Consider the relationship between a pastor and a lay person - totally one-sided where one initiates and the other responds, one teaches and the other learns, or one inspires and the other receives. Even relationships between group members do not automatically turn into enduring friendships. People can do things together, be seen together, eat together, serve together and yet have very little personal or deep connection with each other. We can even act friendly with others without ever letting anyone into our lives or going deeper in self-disclosure.
At the same time, being associated with Jesus is not the same as having surrendered our lives to Him. Even the manner that Judas chose to betray Jesus demonstrated duplicity. Standing with “a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people”, Judas planted a kiss on Jesus as a signal to His adversaries that He was the One they should arrest. (Matthew 26:47-49). It was a betrayal disguised as loyalty.
Reason #2 DRAWN TO TRANSACTION, NOT TRANSFORMATION
Transactional relationships never go beyond surface level interactions. They have value as long as one party continues to get what they need from the other. Often, unspoken rules keep relationships transactional because one party needs to feel important, and the other needs to feel useful. Socially, we may stay friends with certain people who are well-known, better educated, more affluent, wiser or has anything that we don’t have because being with them make us appear more elevated and put together than we really are.
But deep down inside, what Judas valued and what Jesus valued continued to separate them. To Jesus, miracles transformed lives; to Judas, the crowds that were drawn to Jesus looked like potential ticket sales. To Jesus, the woman who sacrificed an expensive jar of perfume was a close friend preparing for His burial; while to Judas, it was a woman’s folly to waste something that could have been monetized. Again, when Jesus looked at the crowds who were with Him in the remote country, He had compassion on them and provided them with food to eat. To Judas, however, it could have been unthinkable for so many people to be getting free food without paying a cent!
When Judas criticized Mary for pouring her perfume on Jesus, the Lord protected her and quickly came to her defence, saying ““Let her alone; she has kept this for the day of My burial. For the poor you have with you always, but Me you do not have always.”
This is what friends do for each other. They don’t stay quiet just because they are not the target of someone’s attack. On the other hand, Judas would sell his friendship with Jesus for a song.
#3 COMPROMISE OVER COMMITMENT
Compromise is about going with the flow or with the majority as long as one feels safe; while commitment is about standing firm with someone even when it is controversial and feels risky. Compromise happens progressively – one thought at a time.
Temptation has a powerful pull when compromise is left unchecked. That’s why it’s so important for us to be accountable and transparent with a mature believer.
We can be so busy ‘serving God’ here and there that we don’t even feel alienated from Him. Service does not mean intimacy.
Luke 22:3 tells us, “Then Satan entered Judas… one of the Twelve.” Satan didn’t force Judas to do anything; he merely made his way in where there was no resistance at all.
We can be so drawn to benefit from our faith journey with Jesus that we begin to minimize how we are transforming in Christlikeness, or celebrating other lives being transformed through us. To be sure, Judas wasn’t tempted in an instant. He had likely been entertaining thoughts of whether Jesus’ ministry would ever gain wider acclaim and greater wealth simply because of the Lord’s ability to draw crowds.
James 1:13-15 [NLT] reminds us, “And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.”
The most dangerous thing was this: Judas did not even recognise Satan’s sleight of hand.
So let us confront all façade of godliness and come before God with a genuine heart of repentance and desire for greater intimacy with Him.
This is a summary and reflection based on a virtual BIR Session held on 19 September 2026.
